funny responses to do you smoke

Besides funny responses, there are dozens of Google Home games that you can enjoy if you put the following funny commands to your Google Assistant. How else would you be able to understand me? Chocolate milk comes from brown cows you know. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. "How old are you?' I just got a job at a factory that makes fire hydrants. Until one day, he was given the chance to ride in the cockpit of a tractor on his 6th birthday. Basically, fire is awesome. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. 9. Who sent you to check how I am doing, Tell me. "* Hopefully not as good as Ill ever be. On the inside of a fire hydrant, youll find H2O. Even now, as an adult, I still enjoy watching my little pony its a show that brings back fond memories for me. An angel appears in a puff of smoke to a man and says to him, "Because you have lived a good and virtuous life, I can offer you a gift: you can be the most handsome man in the world, or you can have infinite wisdom, or you can have limitless wealth." You're my perfect match. "Clothes, but no cigar.". 2023 Box of Puns. I dont know what your problem is, but Im guessing its hard to pronounce. Ask Fun Survey Questions in The Middle. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. Why dont we put the beginning like we put the end?. 15. Woah! "Who me, I don't think so.". 1 "I'm Driving" This is the ultimate excuse. Meanwhile a second monocle emerges from the bathroom. No Smoking Funny Sign Image. No. Show him, there are many out there. ", I said no. There are many great features available to you once you register at Neowin, including: By Remember that a bad review only reflects a single experience in which expectations weren't met. Roses are red; violets are blue. Donald Trump, in comparison, doesn't smoke. Lady: If in 1 year you spend $10,800 not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending at $162,000, correct? So we dont have anywhere to put you. "Clothes, but no cigar.". If youre like most people, you respond with Good when someone asks how youre doing. Man : The Ferrari parked there, is it yours? I've got something I need to say. Need some funny random things to say to crack up your friends? "I'll grant you any wish for releasing me from the lamp!" Flip a coin. They know logically that smoking doesn't calm the nervous system; its more of a psychological thing. Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. Every new thought that comes into my mind is only you. Had a lot of family over and the wife prepared the meal. Daddy put it in the earth and I took care of it every single day. Your attempt at social interaction is hereby acknowledged. But I do like digesting information. No, I just checked my receipt. But be warned: The pork swordsman will not rise again for another year." I said no, sorry I can't stand high maintenance women. I said because my other hand isn't free. Even more than my morning cup of coffee, so yes. Instead, we rely on science to create the event. Just so you know, this conversation is being recorded. 2: I have a personal genie. Nice and fine, like an expensive bottle of wine. The boss looking puzzled asks where that came from. Click here for more information. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. Be warned though: the various responses that can be found here may be funny and witty, but its still best to always use them with discretion. You've been talking so much shit you need a toilet paper. Pretty incredible, right? "What do you use it for?" No. Now that Ive got your attention, have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior? That sounds weird coming from you. 6. * What do you call a jacket that goes up in flames? *"Yes. He had tractor models, tractor wallpaper, remote control miniature tractors, tractor board games, even some tractor porn(which is not easy to find mind you). "Yaar Abba nahi maanenge.". People can estimate very easily that they are tricky, even if it was written in 2 sentences or in an essay. You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway. Nurse: looks to my mom "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. a. less than 1 cigarette per day b. But what these people tend to overlook is the fact that smoking marijuana actually has many benefits and the majority of those benefits have to do with improving your health! Bishop: "????? However, you may visit "Cookie Settings" to provide a controlled consent. Where's the fire? Siri: Humans have religion. For the rest of your time on this island, I am obligated to grant each of you one wish per year. So I took the batteries out of the smoke detector. Seriously, he's been teetotal for months now. *then put your finger on their lips*. After finishing the drink, the man orders a sandwich and yells "When I eat, everybody eats!". I said no, I can't deal with high maintenance women. He loved his job. You noticed Im lost and you wanted to give me directions to the zoo? Send a text message to your phone number but increase the last digit by one (your text friend.). - Do you have crazy nights out dancing while doing cocaine and coming back home to have unprotected sex with multiple partners? His clothing? The medicine man replies: "When your partner can take no more sex and is completely raddled, all she has to say is '1234', and it will then go down. he boomed. Thanks for helping me understand that. WTF? The Irishman responds "I don't know it was burning when I walked in". In response to the "You're not a monk" joke. You must be a person of superior moral caliber. Our website services, content and products are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. 19. But having a healthy respect for fire is part of appreciating it. Ive slipped into the 7th circle of hell, and you? She said: Sorry I don't smoke. Im trying my absolute hardest to see things from your perspective, but I just cant get my head that far up my ass. 17. Because lightning strikes the highest object. I can't deal with high maintenance women, "Wisdom is yours," says the angel, disappearing in another puff. "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. December 6, 2012 in Jokes & Funny Stuff. Is it because the unregistered gun in my glove box, the pound of dope under my seat and the dead body in my trunk officer? These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. 27. Look no further than this collection of funny one-liners and puns about smoke and fire. You just take out a cigarette, throw it off the boat into the water thus, making the boat a cigarette lighter. 3. Then, after raising your hand, put it in your mouth. Hey Santa, tell me the North Pole news. Tractors. Man, no wonder everyone talks about you behind your back. I clean up nice, don't I. It's work. But my physics teacher says the higher you are, the larger your potential! I told her no. What would you tell people that just started to smoke? David Emis the Founder and Lead Punster of Box of Puns, which he created to add more laughter and humor to life. The lie detector determined that was true, in fact your blood type is THC. Thanks for your advice, now **** off. Word on the street is that Im pretty good. aint nobody got time for dat! What happens when you tell someone to take a hike and youre on an airplane? He went to court over this incident. First, the car must be able to fit within the space designated for buses. Hey Santa, sing Deck the Halls. Absurd is the Word. Lady: Do you know that if you hadn't smoked, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you. I went to a smoke shop to discover that it has been replaced by an apparel store. 9 2 comments 11. To stomp out flaming ducks! He must be part of some extreme mist group. *"18. Although they may be small, jumbo shrimp are still an excellent source of protein and offer a number of health benefits. Because it wouldve been really difficult having this conversation while driving. 9. - I see. 23. When asked a question where you know the answer is yes, instead of saying yes, say Does the Pope wear a tall hat?. Technically, I pulled myself over. You can explore smoke kush reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Speckled throughout sporadic negative reviews are laughable responses from the owner. The adults are talking. ", And when they say "did she smoke her whole life" I say "no, but she was real good at minding her own business". His friend said: "No, I quit smoking". "You would have been 28 by now. He goes to the drug store and asks the pharmacist for a condom. Oh boy, I sure hope its to share your doughnuts. ", The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. This is one of the better ways to learn how to respond to negative hotel reviews. Mentally? Bark like a dog. What happens when your local pastor smokes a blunt? *pulls out a 10 inch long BIC lighter* It was as if they were made. ", "Oh, you don't smoke weed? Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. 16. Your brother finished his sentence?" Why are apartments called apartments when they are all stuck together? Bye! *The genie snaps his fingers and a million ducks fly overhead. says the angel and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. "What size would you like?" Am I? I saw a guy walk into a store and buy 5 smoke machines, so I called the cops. They bump into each other as they cross paths and fall to the floor, hopelessly entangled. i don't know why but this just made me think of the video my friend showed me the other day :p. Because the song contains the word "smoke", about a million times, perhaps? "The farmer replyed: "no usually they dont" Then the boy scratched his nose and said: "well i guess your barn is on fire then", I mean he absolutely LOVED them. 8. The next year, the hunter brings a bear gun, sees the very same bear, takes dead aim and fires. But for now, if you do smoke just be aware of where and when you're doing it. Use them however you like! Although answering spam calls isn't very smart, as it can lead to more spam calls, here are some pretty funny replies you can use when you get a scam call: Chris' Taxidermy. Thank you very much for thinking about me! Wow! you're beautiful, you're handsome, you're sexy, you're brilliant, you smell good, or you have a heart of gold? Not that well. 8. "I thought I'd stop in and pick up some stuff and now its some sort of ladies apparel store." You kill 'em, we fill 'em. After several years, despite their differences, they become close friends out of necessity. I don't care what everyone else says. Heres a tissue, you have some sh*t on your lips. "I am sorry to bother you father, but can I ask you half of a lemon?" "Of course my son." said the priest and he fetched half a lemon for the man. Sometimes, its better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that youre stupid than open it and remove all doubt. Doctor, how can I live longer than 100 years? ", "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. Eenngk, enggk, engggkk! Each week, Billy sets fires around the neighborhood. Do you eat too much? "Twenty-six," he said. Everyone was to exit in an orderly orderly orderly fashion. Im dancing along to the rhythm of life. Everybody rushes to the counter and orders another drink. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. The third man, a little slow, looks around at the empty island. 1. Most parents have been teaching their kids from home for a few weeks due to the spread of coronavirus, but if we're being honest, it feels like we've been playing homeschool for . Or perhaps you want to break the ice with an online dating match. Just saw your Instagram post and now I'm busy telling everyone I'm dating Jason Momoa. It does not store any personal data. His wife turns over and asks: "What did you say '123' for?". "Oh, it went fine. Nice and fine, like an expensive bottle of wine. Soothed tremors for people with Parkinson's disease. in a cloud of smoke he disappeared without a Tres. Am I? I totally understand now why you feel that way. I went to a smoke shop only to discover itd been replaced by an apparel store. I'll have a cigarette and a beer at the same time, but I'll still be wearing my seatbelt while I do it. Mom: no. Why couldnt a man smell the smoke in his room? His wallpapers? Youre lost and need directions to the zoo? 12. Hey, hot stuff! I lava you. YES: A car can stop at a bus stop, but there are a few things to keep in mind. ", "When your friends smoke weed without you. After a few drinks he starts to feel pretty good (and a little uncoordinated). do they get high, or do they just get medium? The chief asks "Why didn't you give him mouth to mouth?" "Did you know there are a couple of guys standing out front right by your door smoking?" I just happen to like cigarettes and alcohol. Then he says, "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year. Watch popular content from the following creators: just.that.one.human(@just.that.one.human), Random stuff(@urgirlclem), Hoi(@itsyaboieli123), jlo(@jenny.bronxbaby), E(@random_tips1311), Charly Rich(@charlespoke), xo.girlyvibez(@xo.girlyvibez . If I were doing any better, it'd be illegal. When you reply this way, you will shut him down instantly. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Smoking Baby Funny Gif. Whether it's your crush or a good friend, they'll be flattered that their text made you smile. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." What do you call a dictionary on drugs? When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate. Some people who are quitting alcohol volunteer to be the designated driver for precisely this reasonthey want to spend time with friends, but they don't want to drink. Of course, I talk like an idiot. Example #7: Specificity Is Crucial 14. It is kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. I was chatting with my classmate -my childhood crush online. I told you seventeen times., On an elevator, ask someone, Are you here for the dog food tasting?, Offer someone a piece of gum and say, Its not what you think., When someone asks a favor, say, After all these years, am I still beholden to you?, When someone asks the time, say, Time for a piece of porcupine piata.. Why arent shorts half the price of pants? But you might not want to do the same with strangers. Finally the two hours are up and he goes back to the mechanic. Grandpa says, "That's a great idea." I asked what I should wear for Halloween twice and got 2 different fun responses. The jerk store called. Why is a necklace called such, it doesnt have any lace attached. " I helped out, though. He made it out, but one person died. Oh, enough about me! Ill leave that up to your imagination. Are you a man or a woman? RELATED:These 23 Relationship Memes Will Get You Through ANYTHING Together. Spiritually? Will the next virus be Covid 20? I asked the bishop, and he said I couldn't do it! *silence* That's the sound of me not caring. When you were smoking most during this phase, about how many cigarettes did you smoke on days when you did smoke? "The real difference between edibles and smoking or vaping is that with edibles, a much larger fraction of Delta-9-THC makes it to the liver first. 25. You are so funny!" LOL. THAT'S SO COOL! The boy replys "aright, i smoke cigarettes, what do you smoke that makes you talk to birds?". ", They threw a cigarette overboard, and made the boat a cigarette lighter. Heart-shattering. I plead the fifth. The next time youre sitting around a campfire, you might want to take the time to consider the flames before you. When a short person smokes weed do they become medium?????? 2: Yes. Do your parents realize that they're living proof that two wrongs don't make a right? To which the flight attendant replies: Old Women Smoking Funny Picture. To stomp out forest fires. I think smoking isn't a bad habit until its under your control. Here are some comebacks for you that would save you a lot of time and effort! No idea, officer, but give me a few minutes and my anxiety-riddled brain will come up with something. Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. When asked about how the fire started the man says "damned if I know, the place was in blazes when I got 'ere! I haven't smoked in month and she's up to 2 packs a day. Hey Santa, tell me a story. Everywhere you go, rude comments emanating from various churlish sources are widespread and rampant. Why are you asking me; did you already forget? So, they threw one cigarette off their boat and the boat became one cigarette lighter. tajul 12 Best Comebacks For Your Awful Ex, 12 Funny Quotes About Drinking That'll Make You Want A Beer. She was worried about all that second hand smoke, I made a commitment to myself to avoid high maintenance women, He walked around and was surprised with many monks praying and smoking at the same time. No. I understand what you're saying, but if I agreed with you, then we'd both be wrong. she was gone! If there are people around you who try to put you down for it, f*ck them. Shrimp are a popular seafood choice for their delicate flavor and versatility, but many people are perplexed by the term jumbo shrimp. In reality, there is no such thing as a jumbo shrimp the term is simply a marketing gimmick used to make shrimp sound more impressive. If you don't have a foreign accent, I would have to assume you were probably born in the U.S. or have been here a long time. A guy with flame tattoo sleeves walks into a building. Is a heart attack the same as an attack of the heart? HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. Your love gives me heartburn. What do you call a Scotsman who smokes weed ? He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work. Do you have a boyfriend? I don't remember asking for your opinion. As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything for the rest of your life!!! Things could be worse. They said NO" Those of you who have teens can tell them clean smoke detectors dad jokes. 2. Can I make a wish? If you shop inside the stock market is it stocked with fruits and vegetables? This one always works. 5. If someone gets plastered just where do you find the plaster? You only annoy me when youre breathing, really. It almost scared the sh*t out of me.

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