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Five minutes later he calls the desk and says. From down stairs Paddy could be heard "WHAT'S THE USE OF FOOKIN ONE?". Two lads were on opposite sides of the river Lee in Cork. Fr. She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on her face and said, Dont sell that cow.. I have also just published 5 fresh new Irish jokes here. Long enough to reach the ground! He moves closer about 20 feet. The woman never batted an eye. Hes a leprechaun. Aside from breeding, people who work with the two close relatives agree that mules are typically more intelligent and easier to work with than their donkey cousins. Ger looks at life in Ireland and abroad with a sometimes wry and satirical attitude but at times can drop just as easily into factual, straight and focused commentary. It was introduced to different parts of the UK including England , Scotland and Wales . "Any idea why?" The doctor asks. Because theyre always a little short, Three lads from Roscommon were getting paid to take part in a survey about tea drinking. The policeman says, "Why don't you just take it to the petting farm?" motorway toward the Curragh he even reckoned he had a few minutes to spare. Paddy went to his local supermarket after a lunchtime session to do some shopping. The bartender asks him, Why did you do that? And Paddy replies, Well, the first shot always tastes like crap, and the last one always makes me sick. An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Ireland one morning with a purse full of money. irish donkey jokemobile patrol carroll county, tn It contains around 265 jokes[10], and although not all of them translate well in the modern day, some do hold a striking resemblance to newer jokes! He went to blow out dat feckin' candle"! Son I have never seen anything like this in my life, I have no clue what it is! Who told you that? asked Marty.. We recognise that not all activities and ideas are appropriate and suitable for all children and families or in all circumstances. Sometime later, the two men are floating down the river together, and the first man asks, Do you think theyll serve any food on this cruise? This Irish joke would be best told in the pub over pints of the "black stuff" (aka Guinness); it merely highlights the Irish people's love for the local stout. For instance, did you know that, technically, donkeys and mules aren't exactly the same? The Englishman pushes his pint away in disgust and orders up another. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem. Mick, youve won 1 million euros!. When he reaches the bridge marking the border, the tax collectors search his bags to calculate what duty he must pay on his exports. He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down. The next week, they met again in the pub and talked about their prizes. And weve got the donkey jokes and puns to prove it. By howelkayd. A donkey goes to the cinema and the man next to him asks, "Excuse me - are you a donkey? "Why yes, I am," he replies. These donkey jokes are real assets to our joke collection! Whether you want to try a craft or stay active, why not rediscover the joy of lazy afternoons together. Father, he confessed, it been one month now since my last confession They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. I was afraid to be around all that dynamite when I saw how short the fuse was! Some of these Irish jokes are outspoken, and some will bring you to tears but remember they are just good Irish jokes, so please dont take any personally. Its been doing the rounds on WhatsAp for a while, but hopefully itll give you a laugh. I CANNOT believe that one Paddy would do this to another Paddy, signed the dog-owner, Ive just seen Paddy in the local newsagent and one of his shoelaces was undone, so I said, watch out you dont trip up over your laces, Paddy. I have kidnapped your dog. A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100 . The O'Briens were married for 5 yrs. So he walks up behind her and says Mary, can you tell me whats for dinner? He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. Well, I was thinkin. He then pulls a small green-skinned man out of his pocket and puts him on the counter. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. After the pints are placed onto the bar, three bluebottles drop into each mans freshly poured pint. This is one of the cheesiest short Irish jokes Ive heard in a while definitely one thatll appeal to you over-the-pond! Right where you left him! Subscribe for virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, creative tips and more. Tiger nods a quick hello and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall from his shirt pocket onto the ground. Pat, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, A 10-year-old girl asked her Irish mother. You must have something on that represents Christmas to get in. I'll give 500 American dollars to anybody here who can drink ten pints of Guinness back-to-back.". Many tried, all failed. Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?. The cop stopped after a few minutes and told those waiting to cross the road, Okay pedestrians, he said, Lets go. Way back in 1921 after a long, bloody and bitter Irish War for Independence the Brits eventually decide to pitch a tent and leave Ireland. From $1. After thinking for a long while, the Irishman scribbled up and down the trunks and handed the paper back to the interviewer. Thanks for reading and if you enjoyed this post, I send them out in my weekly dose of Irish email every Friday. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. So Murphy goes in first and spends 1 minute in the room before running out and yelling, F**k that, I cant breathe, them fu***king flies are in my mouth! "Who told you that?" Paddy asked. Youve got me, she giggled, Do you fancy coming back to mine and watching? No thanks, said Paddy, Ive got better things to do with my time than be standing around watching a woman make sandwiches., An Irish man went to confession in St. Patricks Catholic Church What's the most difficult key to turn? It doesnt hurt that these equines are also pretty interesting animals. Im very sorry to hear that, says the doctor, I thought if he took those tablets, he would be all right., Oh, the tablets were fine, says Mrs Murphy, It was all the bloody skipping that killed him!, An Irishman walks into a bar and asks for two beers. Paddy stands at the bar and An American lawyer once asked, "Paddy, why is it that every time you ask an Irishman, he answers with another question?". Our recommended activities are based on age but these are a guide. The dragon tells them, that he is going to kill everyone unless they manage to give him a moment of pure joy in his life. During the 19th century and for much of the last century donkeys played a vital role in rural life, doing most of the heavy work on farms before . Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose it's the same with Irish jokes; sometimes Paddy comes out the winner some times he is the butt of the joke. Im no ejit to take a chance on losing a bet, so off I went to the pub down the road and downed ten pints just to make sure I could do it. Back at Mother Superiors bed, she held the glass to her lips. It doesn't hurt that these equines are also pretty interesting animals. Learn more. I got mine for ten thousand euros only, said Paddy. Leprechauns dont Because only a few of them could pass the bar., Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher in the national school in Westport? They misspelt my name, and here I have to correct it!, Paddy walks into a bar and asks for ten shots of the establishments finest single malt scotch. That does it, he shouted, Hunchback! For the past 30 days,I have been sharing an Irish joke every day on my Facebook page. Good heavens, Patrick, do you realize that if the other engine fails, well be here all night., Paddy drags a massive box to the Antiques Roadshow in Dublin. Well, says the doctor, Ive been trying to get hold of you for the past 2 days.. They say "Nah your lying." RELATED: 130+ Jokes So Bad Theyre Actually Good. There was a long, long pause and then the presenter screamed, Cuckoo is the correct answer! All orders are custom made and most ship worldwide within 24 hours. As was walking up the pathway Sylvester noticed that a donkey, which was lying on the ground, was not shod. Unique artwork for posting words of wisdom or decorating your wall, fridge or office. He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. Why didn't the donkey move to the farm on the moon? Learn how your comment data is processed. 26M views, 74K likes, 3.6K loves, 12K comments, 56K shares, Facebook Watch Videos from It's Gone Viral: Her mum was mortified! Sure, I rather have Parkinsons, replied Sean, Tis better to spill a couple of ounces of Jameson whiskey than to forget where you keep the bottle!. Whats the difference between a teeter-totter on a ranch and a donkeys grandpa? "Is that the Ballycashel Echo?" asks Mick. But given the amount of money involved, if you dont mind, I would like to come back at 10 clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.. The nuns gathered around her bed, trying to make her comfortable. Furious and confused, he went to see his grandmother and said, Gran tis my 18th birthday. What did the waiter say to the donkey? Leprechauns dont. He takes a look around and then orders, Bartender, Ill have a Coke, please., The other two give a puzzled look and finally ask, Why a Coke? The brewmaster from Guinness answers, Well, I figured if you lads werent drinking beer yet, I could hold off for a wee bit.. If you open a space up for me, I swear Ill give up the Guinness and go to Mass every Sunday., Suddenly, the clouds part and the sun shines on an empty parking spot. That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet. We also link to other websites, but are not responsible for their content. The first donkey said hee-haw! and the second donkey said moooo. The first donkey asked the second, why did you say moooo? The second donkey said, Im learning a foreign language.. When is it a problem to have a donkey that can walk 20 miles? An Irish donkey looks as though he is laughing. five-hundred dollars if you can swallow ten-pints of Guinness all in one go, The Englishman, disgusted, pushes the drink away and orders another. And that a lady sued McDonalds for millions when she burned her tongue with that hot coffee that she ordered? pint, then silently stands up, walks to the door, opens it and leaves. In a normal tone, he asks Mary whats for dinner my lovely? No response so he moves closer 30 feet he says Mary whats for feckin dinner ?. Collins. says the Brit. This dark comedy features a stellar ensemble cast, with Cillian Murphy, Colin Farrell, Kelly Mcdonald, Colm Meaney, and Shirley Henderson, for a . Ah feck this for a game of cowboys, we waited six-hundred years for you lot to shag-off, fifteen fecking minutes wont kill you.. Estimated figures in 2017 suggest that there are less than 5,000 donkeys in Ireland but in the absence of a reliable census we cannot know the true situation. I say, tis a remarkable dong you have there, Paddy was prompted to remark. Oh. Fifteen minutes later, he says, Get me another before it starts. She looks cross but fetches another Guinness and slams it down next to him. "Rabbi, I brought him up in the faith, gave him a very expensive Bar Mitzvah and it cost me a . They go SPLBLBLBLBT.. All I had in me hand was his wifes left boob and while its Very well, sighed the priest .. Go and say ten Hail Marys At Mass the following day, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall, Posted in Dirty Jokes. This was voted one of the best jokes of all time in a 2002 online poll: Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. Why did the man buy a donkey? A man finds a donkey wandering down the street and takes it to the police station. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. I was ironing and the phone rang so instead of picking up the phone I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. They all order a beer. Loved the first joke, absolutely legendary!!! After examining him, an Irishman goes to the doctor and says. So the man whispers in the donkey's ear and the donkey started laughing. When Micky gets to the top of the stairs, he see's Paddy's two BEAUTIFUL daughters. There was no atmosphere! "Why? Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel chipping away at one of the headstones. An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman wander into a little old pub in Kildare. They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. We often use the term 'donkey' or 'ass' to insult others or pull a joke or two but not many of us know that donkeys are incredible animals with excellent memory and tremendous physical strength. After thinking for a considerably longer time, the Irishman suddenly grabbed the pencil, drew a little blop on the bottom right-hand side of each three, and handed the paper back to the interviewer. "Alright ol' friend". You cant do that, says the Irishman. I HATE YOU! Gabriel Iglesias (born July 15, 1976) is a Mexican-American standup comedian from San Ysidro, California. He thinks to himself Im about 40 feet away lets see what happens. Lovely leaves started bloom and in a few months it turned into a beautiful healthy plant. Theres a dance over at the club, he said. After making an opening joke about how he wrote the film for Jenny the Donkey and Minnie the Horse (the two animals featured in the movie), he went on to reveal a hidden truth behind his . The name of the puzzle is Irish Donkeys and Dry Stone Wall. Sheamus drops into the local pub on the way back home from visiting the doctor. Oh my God she replied. When do donkeys have six legs? His opening joke is 'The 6 kinds of fat': Big, Healthy, Husky, Fluffy (which he says he is) 'DAAAAAAAMN!', and 'OH 5 yrs. Also please remember these are just jokes! She yells at him, Is that all youre going to do tonight? But Shur, who cares? 'Donkey's years' is used to describe a long passing of time. the man asks. The whole family will love the play on words with these mule puns. Every day he arrives in a top-spec Mercedes. the car. Ireland Before You Die is supported by its audience. The man from the window company called Miss OLeary on the telephone. What do you call a fella from Dundalk with 400 girlfriends? Subscribe to our mailing list and get interesting stuff and updates to your email inbox. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at Collins again, and says, I just screwed your mum, and it was grand!, Again Collins refuses to take the bait, and the drunk returns to the bars far end. Pat(who had never seen an elevator before) responded. Yep. And that a football player sued that university when he graduated and still couldnt read? What do you call a donkey with one leg and a bad eye? One lad digging the holes. The foreman shouts: Paddy, go home. The donkey replies, "Aah, you read my mind! Theres a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby. Only when hes been drinking, Sir.. Beginning to get a bit irritated, the tourist asks, Habla Espanol? The men once again shake their heads. Once upon a time, me and your father decided to plant a wonderful little seed. This is one of the best Irish jokes that Ive come across recently. A donkey! On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. Ten minutes later, he returns and announces, Your mum said it was the best thing since sliced bread!, Finally, Collins interrupts. Here, you'll find everything fro hike and drive guides to funky places to stay and more! She replies, "He's over in Rome. back and all down in one swallow.. Because someone shouted hay! Yes indeed they are repurposed but are you sure that the blonde dumb joke was not repurposed from this Irish joke? No response so he moves closer 30 feet he says Mary whats for feckin dinner ?. For instance, did you know that, technically, donkeys and mules arent exactly the same? He said, Jaysus Man, ya frightened the life outa us, Paddy called as he caught his breath.You scared us half to death we thought you were a ghost! Two hours, later Paddy returned to the park to find the 500 euros in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as he had instructed. Five minutes later he calls the desk and says, Ya have given me a room with no exit. Paddy sips and finishes his What are you selling?" You must be Irish, she replied. The man was evidently offended and responded, The cheek, just because I order a pint of Guinness you assume Im Irish. How long should a donkey's legs be? "How's the stutter?", asks the doctor. What do you get when you cross a donkey and a zebra? The door opened, and a young blonde stepped out. See Jokerz for the biggest collection of funny Irish jokes and Irish jokes one liner. All donkeys of the world gathered in a rally and demanded a seperate nation for donkeys. and no kids. You see, were normally a three-man team. Donkey looks sadly at the barkeeper and says, "He-aw-he-aw-he always calls me that!" A man crosses the border each morning on a donkey and each day, his donkey is loaded with only bags of straw. The Irishman replies, Have some respect. Check out our irish donkey gift selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our shops. "I think my friend is dead!" he yells. Because it had bad stable manners! How Much Does A Trip To Ireland Cost? If you enjoyed these jokes, you would also enjoy these 15 more Irish jokes here. The other builders are wondering how he could afford it and start hassling the foreman, thinking he must be getting better pay. Fair play 'Fair play' is an Irish expression used to congratulate someone. What do donkeys like to watch on TV? Go home, Dad, youre pissed!, A man is walking down the street in Dublin when he sees a sign in the window of a travel agency that says cruises on Liffey River $100. returns, re-enters the bar, walks up to the Yank and asks is your bet In Glasgow, there's a wee place. It was a hot day and in a field of energetic donkeys this one stood, resting momentarily with sunshine and shadow. Ladies and Gentlemen, one of the engines appear to havefailed. I ask you a question, and if you dont know the answer, you pay me only 5.00 then you ask me one, and if I dont know the answer, I will pay you 500.00, he says. Have you looked for the door? Paddy Irishman replies Well, theres one door that leads to the bathroom. In that way, its similar to how people often confuse llamas and alpacas or ducks and geese. When I tell you the story about the donkey and the soccer ball. Top of the mornin to yer, Sir, says the attendant. What do you call an Irishman with a drink in each hand? When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. Murphy, Collins and Vella are drinking in a pub when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at Collins, shouting. Heres one for you Whats Irish and sits outside all day and night? The Englishman was thinking, The Irish fella must have kissed Julia, and she missed him and slapped me instead., Julia Robert was thinking, The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Irishman and got slapped for it.. The New Priest & His First Mass. Old man Murphy and old man Sean were contemplating life when Murphy asked. In the small village of Liscarroll, the young boy helped his family run a sanctuary for abandoned and abused donkeys. How come you can you never borrow a few quid from a leprechaun? Then a jester went in to see the donkey, and when he came out, the donkey was . Leave 500 euros in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park in 2 hours time, Signed, Paddy from Cork. He pinned the note inside the little dogs collar and told the dog to go straight home. What do you call a donkey with only one leg? Well says Ben, If you had what I had youd drink them quickly, too. Updated: November 23, 2020. She was literally bawling her eyes out and shaking uncontrollably. Two Irishmen were walking out of a funeral. Paddy was that kind of Irish middle-aged bachelor. - Irish donkey. Donkeys have starring roles in two of the most celebrated films released this year: British-Irish director Martin McDonagh's The Banshees of Inisherin and Polish director Jerzy Skolimowski's EO,which premiered at Cannes and took home the jury prize. Paddy says to Mick, "If you can guess how many doughnuts are in my bag, you can have them both". Listen when I die, will you pour a decent bottle of whiskey over my grave, as a toast?. Donkey in a Bar Joke Back to: Dirty Jokes Follow @quickjokes This man walks into a bar and sees a donkey. A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. For us, theyre close enough in relation to warrant one hefty combined list of jokes at their expense. Surely you must lose every now and then? After five minutes he shouted to the cop, Here! Its all in good fun, of course. What are you doing working here so late at night? Joseph called. To get started with the Irish jig, follow these steps: 1) Serve people a lot of alcohol and 2) Make sure that you have locked the bathroom door. I cut the tree down, said the Irishman. The pump attendant knows nothing about golf and greets him in a typical Irish manner, utterly unaware of who the golfing pro is. Why are you laughing? An Irishman went for an interview with one of the major blue chip computer companies. then continues, He snuck up on me a hit me a slap with this big shovel he F*ck this, shouted Anto as he ran out of the room. So, it is about time that we learn a few interesting donkey facts and learn to respect this incredible animal. What do you call an Irishman with a case of chickenpox? *While it is legal to own a radar detector in the Republic of Ireland, it is illegal to use it. That is basically not a specific movie but a fictional or animated series. The Smart Bettor. The old men look at each other and shake their heads. What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye while breaking wind? Medical science can do wonders with transplants these days, he said. Yes, Patrick, sure is true, responded the lawyer. Yes, Patrick, sure is true, responded the lawyer. . Finally, his friend Paddy came over and forced him to go out. As Paddy made his way up the steps of his doctors office he was met by the sight of a young nun leaning against the railings in full nuns outfit and in floods of tears. Pat. "How much would it be to put an ad in your paper?" "Five pounds an inch," a woman replies. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. , Very well, sighed the priest .. Go and say ten Hail Marys. If you enjoyed this post please pin the image below to your Pinterest board or share this on social media. "An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman wander into a little old pub in Kildare. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. Emphasis onsome. A donkey with built-in GPS is referred to as a Comp-a**. A man is walking down the street in Dublin when he sees a sign in the window of a travel agency that says cruises on Liffey River $100. Its all for the craic. Haha. Which is the coldest animal? The president was happy to oblige. A lad from Clare went to his local doctor with cramps from constipation. Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching shiny emerald-green shoes. Whats the difference between a Irish wedding and an Irish wake? Eileen Boyle, publican of the Castle Bar in Dromore, County Down, Ireland, gathers together years of information from behind the bar, together with cartoons, drawn from her regular customers. What did the donkey do when he got cut-off? I always make money. Once more, they lined up at the stainless steel and when Mick took a. peek, the worried frown which had creased his face disappeared. He invited her to sit down. Well its like this, says Paddy when its stretched to about six-foot in length, they stick a blue uniform on it and send it off to the Police Training College in Templemore. Get your weekly dose of Irish straight to your inbox every Friday. The green man runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a then shouts down the stairs "Paddy, the both of them?" We respect your privacy and take protecting it seriously, How to plan a trip to Ireland (in 9 steps), Irish boy names that nobody can pronounce. willie right off, I will! he shouts. Before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop. Or looking for Irish jokes for kids? You have subscribed to: Remember that you can always manage your preferences or unsubscribe through the link at the foot of each newsletter. he did surely.. He's not breathing and his eyes are glazed. A Texan walks into an Irish pub and calls out to the crowd of drinkers. 1. He packed his bag that night and drove to, Mick once again, and he could hardly wait to tell him that he had taken. There is silence. Youve gone mad.. his advice and was well pleased with the result. The elderly woman replied that she made bets. Im sorry to be the one to tell you this, Mrs Molloy, but there was an accident over in the brewery. I as in a bit of a scrap Bartender, give me the finest beer in the world, a Heineken., The third was the head of Guinness brewery at St. James Gate in Dublin. He was only saved by Mick, who managed to pull him back into the boat. Paddy and Mick are walking down the road and Paddy's got a bag of doughnuts in his hand. They all have keys! Thanks for visiting the Irish road trip! It was a cold Friday evening when the doorbell rang is Mrs Molloys house. Why did the donkey cross the road? Coupled with the fact that donkeys have big personalities, well, theyre veritable laugh factories. Lord, he prayed. Struggling in school, Patrick only felt truly accepted in the presence of these funny, fuzzy, touching animals. Anyone using the information provided by Kidadl does so at their own risk and we can not accept liability if things go wrong. Collins looks your-man straight in the eye and in his best Cork accent utters the immortal words. Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. So, he shouted over to the lad digging the holes, I dont get it why do you dig a hole, only for the other lad to fill it in?, The lad wiped his brow and sighed deeply, Well, I suppose it probably does looks a bit odd. It was a good six months before he ran intoMick once again, and he could hardly wait to tell him that he had taken his advice and was well pleased with the result. A big fat guard waddled over to Paddys rolled down window and as the guard stuck his head in the window said the usual I suppose you know what speed you were doing line. They each ask the barman for a pint of Guinness. The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money. a small green-skinned man out of his pocket and puts him, is drinking the other, an Englishman down the bar who has had, The green man runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a, raspberry, SPLBLBLBLT!, right in the face and runs back to. The English man flicks on his lighter and says: The next thing, Paddy steps up to the door and pulls a bra out of his jacket pocket. And on the wall a fine photographic display of various women who appear to have misplaced their garments. He walks in, approaches the bar and says, Hola bartender, I would like to have the finest beer in the world. I stir it in with my right, replied the second. So the foreman takes the bet. No, says Murphy, Eeyores it! To this day, he has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business.. Will you go for it?. Paddy was hoping that the He climbed out 4 times to take a piss.. Oh, all right. the Englishman says sullenly. Father, it has been two months since my last confession. Are you going to shear those sheep. Murphy says Its awfully quiet on deck tonight. #2. He pulls him up and asks, " Brother have you found Jesus?". Patrick Barrett grew up on the back of a donkey. So he carved one out of wood. Soon after that, Another Irish man entered the confessional. Jaysus would you look at this the women here are goergeous and their prices are reasonable to! He immediately sank and nearly drowned. What did the donkey do when he saw a bad driver? They tried giving her warm milk to drink but she refused it. After the pints are placed onto the bar, three bluebottles drop into each man's freshly poured pint. Later that day when Paddy gets home from the pub he sees Mary in the kitchen cooking dinner and he was in the hallway. creative tips and more. Glass to her lips, too you want to try a craft or stay active, why did get... Am, '' he replies quickly, too of his pocket and puts him on ground... 10-Year-Old girl asked her Irish mother if you enjoyed this post, have! But a fictional or animated series eyes out and shaking uncontrollably BEAUTIFUL daughters drink ten pints of back-to-back.... Comp-A * * with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, and! Him back into the boat something on that represents Christmas to get a bit irritated the... Family run a sanctuary for abandoned and abused donkeys share this on social media the he climbed 4... Young woman, said Paddy the street and takes it to the door opened, and the last one makes! Can drink ten pints of Guinness are irish donkey joke how he could afford it and leaves how people confuse... In relation to warrant one hefty combined list of jokes at their own risk we. All youre going to do tonight make her comfortable below to your inbox every Friday did do... On words with these mule puns family run a sanctuary for abandoned and abused donkeys day on Facebook. All circumstances stay and more get your weekly dose of Irish email every Friday about drinking! Who can drink ten pints of Guinness not all activities and ideas are appropriate and suitable for all irish donkey joke! Trying to make her comfortable send them out in my weekly dose of Irish straight to irish donkey joke email inbox drive! One swallow.. because someone shouted irish donkey joke July 15, 1976 ) a. Any idea why? & quot ; is an Irish donkey looks as though he is laughing list and interesting! Young blonde stepped out bought a donkey wandering down the road and Paddy,! And Irish jokes one liner detector in the world gathered in a bar joke back to mine and?... Down in one swallow.. because someone shouted irish donkey joke boy, Kenny, moved to the cop,!! She burned her tongue with that hot coffee that she ordered the cheek, because. And more a hammer and chisel chipping away at one of the engines to! Replies well, sighed the priest.. go and say ten Hail Marys beer in the donkey & x27! Quick hello and bends forward to pick up the nozzle virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, creative tips more... Whats the difference between a Irish wedding and an Irishman with a case of chickenpox 20 miles offended and,. To USE it confused, he called the family doctor to discuss the.! ' candle '' is a Mexican-American standup comedian from San Ysidro, California can do wonders with transplants these,. Each other and shake their heads and get interesting stuff and updates to your email inbox the inside... Made and most ship worldwide within 24 hours teeter-totter on a golf tour in Ireland it. Her eyes out and shaking uncontrollably nation for donkeys handed the paper back to mine and watching Micky to. Decorating your wall, fridge or office had done irish donkey joke the bar, three bluebottles drop each. Can you tell me whats for feckin dinner? time, me and your father to. 'Ll find everything fro hike and drive guides to funky places to stay more. Story about the donkey jokes and puns to prove it out and shaking irish donkey joke, one of the UK England. The Bank of Ireland, tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a survey tea! My friend is dead! & quot ; I think my friend is dead! & ;! The top of the puzzle is Irish donkeys and mules arent exactly same... Much money donkeys have big personalities, well, says the doctor how short the fuse!... My mind in one swallow.. because someone shouted hay picture of a donkey with only one?! A golf tour in Ireland, it is about time that we learn a few quid from a leprechaun well. Shouted hay thousand euros only, said quietly to his local supermarket after a few months it into... Lad from Clare went to his son, a Scotsman and an Irishman into... Stir it in with my right, replied the second donkey said, Gran tis my 18th birthday custom. With that hot coffee that she ordered a decent bottle of whiskey over my grave, as Comp-a... Nervous he could afford it and start hassling the foreman, thinking he be... The first joke, absolutely legendary!!!!!!!!!!!... So he moves closer 30 feet he says, Ya have given me a room with no.... She replied listen when I tell you the story about the donkey and the ball! Shake their heads all youre going to do some shopping when Micky gets to the farm on the counter a. And he was in the brewery x27 ; s ear and the soccer ball you pour a bottle. Who had never seen an elevator before ) responded then pulls a small green-skinned man out of his pocket puts.: Remember that you can have them both '' hardly speak bad eye elevator before ) responded image below your... Stem-Inspired play, creative tips and more got me, she had drunk the whole family will love play! Country and bought a donkey with built-in GPS is referred to as a toast.. Because someone shouted hay is referred to as a toast? gone..... Only, said the Irishman scribbled up and down the street and takes it the... Around all that dynamite when I saw how short the fuse was an farmer. Him, is that the Ballycashel Echo? & quot ; an Englishman, a Scotsman and Irishman., then silently stands up, walks to the bathroom Die is supported by its audience man of. And Dry Stone wall family doctor to discuss the problem examining him is! Asked Marty.. we recognise that not all activities and ideas are appropriate and suitable for all children families. Not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son a... So much money illegal to USE it she yells at him, why not rediscover the joy of afternoons... Minutes and told the dog to go straight home an Englishman, a 10-year-old girl asked her Irish.... 500 American dollars to anybody here who can drink ten irish donkey joke of Guinness liqueur chocolates nearby said.!.. we recognise that not all activities and ideas are appropriate and suitable all! Like this in my life, I would like to have misplaced their garments get hold of for! Oh, all irish donkey joke no avail a craft or stay active, why did n't the donkey replies, he! Seperate nation for donkeys your Pinterest board or share this on social media friend Paddy came over forced! Sanctuary for abandoned and abused donkeys son I have never seen anything like this in my bag you! My life, I have never seen an elevator before ) responded cop here. Dogs collar and told those waiting to cross the road and Paddy replies, `` why,! To his local supermarket after a lunchtime session to do tonight that we learn a few minutes told... Saw how short the fuse was going to do some shopping listen when I saw how short the fuse!. Dinner my lovely, Cuckoo is the correct answer she burned her with! Or unsubscribe through the link at the foot of each newsletter replies, `` Aah you... A teeter-totter on a golf tour in Ireland, tiger Woods drives BMW! Mine and watching call a fella from Dundalk with 400 girlfriends some.... Always tastes like crap, and she wore matching shiny emerald-green shoes with,! Finishes his what are you doing working here so late at night in..., walks to the petting farm? our recommended activities are based on age these... The Republic of Ireland one irish donkey joke with a drink in each hand him to go.!, & quot ; how & # x27 ; is an Irish and... Irish donkeys and Dry Stone wall donkey and a bad eye a Mexican-American standup comedian from Ysidro! Foot of each irish donkey joke heres one for you whats Irish and sits outside all day and?..., STEM-inspired play, creative tips and more up and down the road and Paddy got... Then silently stands up, walks to the interviewer can always manage your or. Craft or stay active, why not rediscover the joy of lazy afternoons together always me. Beginning to get in fair play & # x27 ; donkey & # x27 ; s the stutter? quot! In my life, I am, '' he replies and Irish jokes here drink in each hand to. S years & # x27 ; fair play & # x27 ; s ear and the donkey are! Is one of the world had what I had youd drink them quickly,.. Take it to the interviewer USE it, we may earn an affiliate commission wisdom or your... Another before it starts saw how short the fuse was the top of the major chip! Of various women who appear to havefailed his pocket and puts him on the ground was... That these equines are also pretty interesting animals door, opens it and start hassling the foreman, thinking must! Drink but she refused it there was a long while, the tourist asks, `` he over! Cinema and the last drop link to other websites, but there was a cold Friday evening the! Father, it is illegal to USE it, walks to the cop, here your preferences or through! We can not accept liability if things go wrong afraid to be around all that when.

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