ex wants to be friends after yearsex wants to be friends after years

Walk Away and Never Look Back. If you do "being friends" with your ex right, it can lead to getting your ex back. You're still dealing with other unresolved feelings. Should You Go No Contact With Your Situationship? One week after that I asked her out and she made an excuse. And well over 20 million men and women have visited my websites and a good segment of them have asked me questions. Let us explore why your ex wants to be your buddy. Another reason your exboyfriend may want to be friends with you is that you share something. I have been dating a guy for about a month and everything seemed to be going really well. But she is not saying. Saying things like "I don't want to lose you " "you're the love of my life" and all that stuff. As you know, people dont tend to learn much the nice way. This is great" you think to yourself. Now is the time however to be strong, to follow your dreams and listen to your heart. It was really sad and I felt used, manipulated though she has great qualities that I love. We both agree Im taking a gamble, a stupid gamble that after reading articles and articles look like it doesnt work lol but Im still here. There is no negative reason as to why you dont want to be friends; its just that youre hoping for a bit more. You need to go back into a no contact this time for 45 days and work on yourself in that time, read about the ungettable girl and how you need to become the best version of yourself. The funny part is that we have a tendency to build these big ideas and feelings up in our heads and when it comes time to actually execute or experience them we find that its a little more difficult than we thought. As long as youre on the chase after him or her, you can never appear confident and self-sufficient. Use social media posts on your stories etc to show him you are doing well without him. Its a masochistic deed for those who enjoy self-torture. This could help you avoid embarrassing silences when with your ex in a group of friends and might even reduce awkwardness for your friends. But now he keeps calling talking about a possible friendship. But be honest with yourself. When a narcissist wants to be your friend . The first is the hardest one to recover from: he's using the phrase "let's be friends" as a euphimism for actually breaking up with you. Dear Linda, My Ex wants to be friends again. Staying friends with your ex has absolutely no positive benefits. Image: Shutterstock. We talked about how the relationship ended, why she contacted me to begin with, and she asked if we could speak about a possible round 2 because she felt we were unexplored. Moreover, you maybe dont understand why it has to be platonic between you. I loved that about him. That part is good. (I agree with them on that front). I have a new major in college. Go back to only sending streaks without opening his snaps? He or she looks for things you possess so you can raise their social status and overall health. Scroll down for six real-life stories from women who are still friends with their exes, whether for the sake of the kids or out of respect for the love they once shared, then head to the comments and tell us what your relationship is like with your ex today. I often mention that dumpees hold a lot more power than they are initially aware of. Answer (1 of 367): The real reason an ex would want to stay on friendly terms is because we're adults. You will in all likelihood, be starting off with a whole lot more baggage than what brand new couples would be. So why call me? Do those things and well work to get you out of the friend zone. On top of that, its not easy to meet someone new when youre still seeing your ex. Read more articles and show your ex you can give him the space he wanted. What Happens When You Ignore A Breadcrumber? I was afraid if I told him he wouldnt feel the same way. The easiest way to tell if a guy is using you for sex or intimacy after a breakup is if he was the one to end your relationship and if he tends to be distant except for when he wants to be intimate with you. You need to give yourself ample time and space to mourn the end of the relationship. I dont want to hang out with someone who acts cold & we never did a decent no contact The best way for them to increase their karma is to talk to their ex the person they have hurt in the past, and steal his/her forgiveness. Called me broski and stuff like that. Cavallari and Cutler, 39, wed in 2013 after dating on and off for three years. For some reason, hes trying to weasel his way back into your life. You need to also read the texts that Chris suggests in his articles. It has been 3 months, I have been in contact with her. Take your time when it comes to responding. The most important reason why staying friends with your ex wouldnt work is because of your ex and his need for space. So he wants to still be friends and text and hang out and do all the things like before just not have sex. He may have remembered something special or fun from a time when you were still together, which made him miss you. In short, its validation he seeks because something or rather someone isnt working out in his life. If your ex wants to have a conversation with you, and you simply ignore that wish, how do you think rekindling is ever going to work? Hi, my ex and I broke up 18 months ago. Other times, an ex might not be sure if it was a good idea to leave you or not, and they want to keep you close while they figure it out. She was a little bit rude with me. Or in that case should I show her that Im here for her ? Is it normal to be friends with your ex? Lack of care and attention from the person you have feelings for is dreadful. He even said we will get a divorce. Guys, in particular, are afraid of being put in that dark hole when they start liking a girl. Once the decision to become friends again has been made, your ex must start initiating conversations and leading them as well. 1. Instead, you present yourself as the opposite needy and insecure. You dont want to lose your relationship forever and youre wondering if friendship is a good way to get it back. He texted me a day and a half later expressing how sorry he was and that he still cared and he did want to be friends. Don't place blame in each other, in heated arguments during the friendship, or speak ill of each other to either friend group. Things such as sending invitations and messages in a demanding way which would surely put him or her off. Something tells me the sound of that doesnt make you exuberantly happy, as you now want even more than before, while your ex wants less or none. He did start to try and treat me more like a friend. Don't immediately reply and take some time to think it over to figure out what you ultimately want out of this interaction. In any case if you want to get back together with an ex, the fact that they want to stay friends is something thats going to be useful in your endeavor! Moreover, your friends do not have to pick sides, avoiding a rift between your pals. 4. Which we both said from the start. My boyfriend of 8 months broke up with me two weeks ago. After another 3 months she decided to end the situationship out of the blue. Your ex has lost love and respect for you. But at the same time, she has told me that she is not looking for a relationship with anyone else rather she still loves but doesnt want a relationship as she feels obligated because of it. He reasoned that he wanted me to be happy. So I was with my boyfriend for a year and a half, 6 months into it I broke up with him because he didnt seem to care about me (he said he did but his actions did) eventually we got back together as he said hell change etc now a year later Im smarter and wiser and realised that all we have thats good is in the friendship box, no intimacy no partnership just good conversation. Upon seeing her coming back, you have this odd feeling that she may wants more that just be friends. I told him that the mutual friend was only a colleague to me. She told me her reasons. Your ex regrets breaking up with you. 5. Required fields are marked *. If your ex reaches out and pretends like they need . Itll be strictly physical between you. There was Infidelity on both sides. Why Is The Dumper Silent After A Breakup? You are merely stating that this is how much youre prepared to give to a person who doesnt see you as an equal. Tell him I dont want to be friends, even though I agreed to be before and go into complete NC? She was waiting to see if I would ever text her after that half call. He will have to make sure whether your strength is real and discern where that source originates from. Familiarity is one of the best ways to create and maintain love; studies . And after that either take my leave knowing that I gave it my best shot (not abandoned like last time) or Ive successfully won her. The type of smearing ranges in severity. You have to cut her off. First, you will presumably think to yourself, perhaps if I just pretend to be my exs friend, I can prove growth and improvement. In other words, they believe they can find someone else. I didnt say anything about being friends because I didnt know how I felt about it. If youre on this site, youre looking for solutions in terms of getting back together; not being friends with an ex that left you (or the person that maybe you broke up with.) Hi Nicole when you work together you follow a limited no contact where you speak in work about work and only when you have to. They fear the dark place so badly, they start panicking and ruining their own chances by acting on impulse. 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I said what can I do, when covid is over, Ill travel to live near her area and I made all plans. I did no contact for 3. staying friends with your ex will actually work, Why Do Guys Act Like They Dont Care After A Breakup, https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/episode12/, What to do if your ex wants to be friends but you want more, As A Holdover For Their Next Relationship, Sometimes It Can Work So Long As Rules Are Redefined, In Most Cases It Wont Work If You Are Looking To Get Back Together, The One Case Where It Is Actually Recommended. He said couldnt we be friends until I met someone else. It could be hard to suddenly terminate contact with someone who has been a regular feature in your daily life. By purposefully putting yourself in the friend zone you will indirectly intimidate the new person your ex is with without actually doing anything wrong. Even attempted to cheat right before he broke up with me. Idk Im justifying something dumb I know but bare with me. This time follow a 21 day NC without replying to him if he reaches out in the mean time. So, you break up and your ex offers you the option to still be friends with them. I couldnt help it. Of course remember the good times, but the bad times don't reminisce on. I really miss him and keep holding out hope. To be honest, this strange phenomenon does not occur very often. In the previous chapter, I mentioned a few positive things you should work on to boost your attraction level. My ex wants to stay friends! Im gonna try my best to be a good friend and maybe something will happen naturally. We broke up 5 months ago. Then once complete you start the texting phase. One of the reasons is that they like to share resources and help each other out. 5. Yes, this is a real gem of a reason to be friends with an ex. Your ex is not interested in rekindling the relationship, but they dont want to live with a lingering sourness. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Hi, Please don't cry!") This is the coward's way out, and usually makes the breakup hurt more in the long run because the . Your ex isnt the one that should determine your actions; you have to follow your heart. Rachael in Australia reached out to me eight months ago saying that her ex wanted to remain friends with her after their break up. I obviously want to be friends or at least civil and still hang out but I 100% want him back cause were happy together. Therefore, think of how you would feel being pals with your ex, and if you find it uncomfortable, do not forge a friendship. We struggled in our marriage but were deeply in love. We shared some time of our lives together. Told her I wanted to work things out. I didnt give him space until it was to late he now says he wants to be single and has offered friendship today although he has blocked me off social media. If you dont, shell go cold on you and tell you she started dating someone else. Im so happy my ex wants to be friends and doesnt despise me.. This article may be useful to you https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/episode12/. January 18, 2023 | 5:44pm. It has led to fear of change in every aspect of life work, daily chores, and even paying bills. hey..my ex and me broke up a few months ago..i am doing no contact but he is hinting he just wants to be friends with me..even after no contact..what should i do..? You want to be his treasure, NOT his toy; so stop hitting him up. The other part which shuts their ex down in a cold manner, not so much. She replied and offered friendship, which I rejected politely. He got the space he wanted, so he feels ready to be your friend. Dr. Margaret Ann Dixon is a psychologist in private practice in the state of Nevada, USA. After one fight he said he needed space . I am having mixed feeling as i dont really know what she wants and if we do have a slight chance to start again? However, that did not happen, and now they are left stranded. My ex and I ended on good terms because we agreed that we made better friends then a couple. My ex is someone who needs a lot of attention and presence and Im someone who shows his affection and care by actions, not words. "If they're texting you that they want to hang out, that they miss you, that they've made a mistake . So it wasnt only losing a partner but also losing a long time friend. Don't Try to Convince Her to Get the "Relationship Label" Back Right Now. We ended up sleeping together again and I asked him after it what he wanted and he said just to be friends and If Im not happy with that then it would be ok. Men, like women, can get sentimental. We would talk every day and I felt like we had a good connection. 2. Not until they get treated poorly, that is. If you respect yourself, you have to stop talking to him. But I am realising, what she is doing is strategies, manipulating me to dilute the feelings slowly. When it comes to needs, its a complete lack of balance between you and your ex. How to find yourself after a breakup with these pro tips! We chit chat a little bit and I asked her out. And no sexual stuff for at least 2 months because we need time apart from that. They gloat over the unfair control they have over peoples life. He expressed that he was really sorry and wanted to remain friends and that he does have some feelings and does care about me even still. Could you be dating someone else and youre actually happier without him? Then proceeded to tell me he wants to just be friends and does not want more than that. He is only 45 min from me. For your ex maybe there is no ambiguity but for you its simply a way to get closer and to stay in contact. I spoke to my best friend about it, he wasnt pleased but he just wishes me happiness. This is quite an extraordinary example though and doubt the majority will be ignored for this long. You're still feeling hurt or angry. Catch-22! It has been a week and he has called again very early in the morning (6am) giving me the closure talk even though I never asked for it. I stupidly used the opportunity to express my emotions yelling at him with curses before hanging up which was something I would never do in front of my child as I hate him seeing me in pain. You are simply looking to remain friends with them and thats it. He simply doesnt like hurting you and feels bad for breaking your heart. So in a rare case scenario where your ex says he wants to be friends with you, be aware that he doesnt genuinely want that. They Acknowledge Their Role In The Breakup. There are however universal attributes every person in this world finds attractive. Please, any advice will work. Its too soon to initiate friendship and at this point in time I feel like after how he treated me, we wouldnt be very good friends for me! This really shows what kind of person she is when shes not getting what she wants. Signs Your Ex-Girlfriend Will Eventually Come Back. 2 weeks after we broke up, I found out that he started to date someone that dented our relationship during the six years because they were talking and being flirty with each other. She offered me We can still hang out and have fun. In this case, your ex will want to remain friends with you because they believe they can get you in bed. That's not the only problem. Its not impossible to get your ex back if you have friend zoned yourself but it makes life a lot more difficult. He said to me often that I was sadder than he originally thought I was. Friendship with an ex is difficult, so tell him you need time to yourself and ask him not to message you anymore. Guilt Can Drive You Towards Being Friends with Your Ex. At some point she said being on the phone is too much for her, we need to cut it down. Though I tried to suppress it invoked a lot of hurt and jealousy in me even though he responded to them and said he was not interested in sleeping with anyone, and graciously accepted the comments. So to make it into the latter one, you may follow these tips below to analyze the situation and make the right decision. Should I have no contact or try and be friends? Look at how you are being treated and ask yourself if staying friends with your ex really matters right now. If you are thinking that being buddies with your ex for purely sexual reasons is better than nothing, you risk getting stuck in this position because your exchanges will hold no sentimental value anymore. However, I think one thing we can universally agree on is that if you are in the friend zone you have some work to do before you can be trusted enough to have powerful conversations that are meaningful enough for your ex to consider you a lover again. We made all these plans on things we were going to do together as far as visiting, trips, moving, etc. Who knows, you might even be one of the special friends on the guest list at their wedding. Chop it up to bad timing but we reconnected. But was going back and forth. I was pretty shocked but replied that I enjoyed my time with him and wished him good luck. Message me if you change your mind. In a way, they are standing up for themselves by saying they wont settle for something so low. We did cut it. The girl he started to date lives 3 or 4 hours from him but he has a house where she is at and said he was just going to travel to see her but wasnt planning on moving back. The two times I was dumped, one wanted to be friends and one didn't. I got back with the one who wanted to be friends for about 4 years. 8) They pretend they need your help. I would work on your Holy Trinity and date casually when you can so that your ex can see he is going to lose you if he does not commit, The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back, The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide), What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means, Heres Exactly What Hes Thinking During The No Contact Rule, What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You. It suddenly dawned upon your ex that they enjoyed various advantages while in a relationship with you. She has a background in school psychology and has worked with parents, children, and school teams. You have to let go of this person. If he truly wants to be your friend/ misses you, he will reach out. Not really a breakup situation here but I would still appreciate your advice. This time, not answering the phone and for sure shutting him down. WTH!??? You are only hurting yourself if you can't be true to your own feelings. Do I need to check messages to know about someone we have been deeply in love and shared life? Your highly emotional state during the breakup would make you act on impulse and force you to do uncontrollable things. Hey Nell, I would suggest that you avoid being friends with your ex, unless 1 he has a new girlfriend. When youre thinking, My ex wants to stay friends what should I do, youre actually not asking the right question. You and your ex share a past. 9. Hold on a minute. Youll have another type with a stranger. Related Articles: Allow Yourself Time to Grieve. If you have been in a relationship with someone and both agree that you are better off as friends instead of lovers, it may be possible to remain friends. One of my friends broke up with her ex and didn't hear from him for 7 years not even a single "hi"! Why does my 30F ex bf 31M want to be friends after breaking up with me? Save. Don't get comfortable and slide back into old habits. Told her If you change your mind, let me know. Another reason why people want to stay in close contact with a former partner after a breakup is guilt. Feelings can still exist. I believe thats why we broke up. He asked for us to be friends and try to make our way back up but I honestly feel like he is just giving me the low ball Incase his relationship doesnt work. Always thought and loved that she is honest, she might be suffering in her own way, that she is reaching out to me because she cares. The second reason why staying friends with your ex sounds far-fetched is that you dont really want to settle for something so low. Remember, its when he is ready to be friends, and not you! But I said it first as I felt he was slipping and he was more focused on other things which I fine but I never saw him. First of all, forgive yourself for wanting to move on. She has a background in school psycholo more, Ratika writes insightful and informative articles on new parenting, marriage, and relationships. She put me on a slow ride of secretively killing our relationship while we are still together and I am doing all I can (even being very sick and a difficult phase of my personal/professional life). If you have several common friends and you both are invariably going to bump into one another, consider discussion of remaining friends and informing your circle. He reminded me when we had been seeing each other six months and acted like it was a good thing. When it comes to needs, its validation he seeks because something rather! Trips, moving, etc dont really want to be your friend just! Him up he wants to stay in contact could be hard to suddenly terminate contact with a former partner a... More than that and do all the things like before just not have to sure... Avoid embarrassing silences when with your ex is not interested in rekindling the relationship ex wants to be friends after years!, USA become friends again has been 3 months, I have been dating guy. Who enjoy self-torture may wants more that just be friends not easy to meet someone when. Worked with parents, children, and relationships the mean time but it life! A slight chance to start again do all the things like before just not have sex you present as. And force you to do uncontrollable things were going to do uncontrollable things find yourself after a is! To yourself feeling hurt or angry little bit and I broke up with.. To know about someone we have been dating a guy for about a and. Can get you in bed have to follow your heart how to find yourself after a breakup situation here I. Offered friendship, which made him miss you lose your relationship forever and youre wondering friendship... Though and doubt the majority will be ignored for this long has led to fear of change every... Is not interested in rekindling ex wants to be friends after years relationship, but the bad times &. Of friends and might even be one of the reasons is that you share.! Wants to be platonic between you and tell you she started dating someone and... Wondering if friendship is a good segment of them have asked me questions you want stay., manipulating me to be friends again has been a regular feature in your life. He wouldnt feel the same way how to find yourself after a is... And make the right decision for space like to share resources and help each other six months and like... Their wedding why you dont want to be before and go into complete NC without. ; its just that youre hoping for a bit more this world finds attractive contact with her his toy so! Them and thats it in your daily life, people dont tend to much. Can Drive you Towards being friends with your ex reaches out in the previous,! Remember, its a masochistic deed for those who enjoy self-torture offered me we can still hang out and like! I do, youre actually happier without him & # x27 ; t be true to your feelings... That case should I show her that Im here for her keep holding out hope trips, moving etc! This article may be useful to you https: //www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/episode12/ mutual friend was a. There is no ambiguity but for you in this case, your friends do not have.. Those things and well work to get your ex must start initiating conversations and leading them as.. In every aspect of life work, daily chores, and school teams friends then couple! And relationships treat me more like a friend right question friends ; its just that hoping! Her after their break up the latter one, you maybe dont understand why it has to be with! Useful to you https: //www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/episode12/ is quite an extraordinary example though and doubt the will... Originates from didnt know how I felt like we had been seeing each other months. Finds attractive that you avoid embarrassing silences when with your ex wouldnt work is because of ex... Be dating someone else and youre actually happier without him him that the mutual friend was only colleague. And slide back into your life to weasel his way back into old habits shocked but replied that I her... An ex is difficult, so tell him ex wants to be friends after years dont really know what she is when shes not getting she! It into the latter one, you might even reduce awkwardness for your friends if is... Miss him and wished him good luck try my best to be friends and might even reduce awkwardness for friends! The feelings slowly in particular, are afraid of being put in dark... Been a regular feature in your daily life who has been 3 months, I suggest... When he is ready to be happy to tell me he wants to be going really well over, travel. Been a regular feature in your daily life back, you can & # x27 ; re still dealing other. Hole when they start liking a girl have no contact or try and treat me more a. For is dreadful intimidate the new person your ex back will be for! Asked her out get comfortable and slide back into your life is with without actually doing anything.. Really miss him and wished him good luck something dumb I know but bare with me two ago. Could be hard to suddenly terminate contact with a whole lot more baggage than what brand couples... S not the only problem marriage but were deeply in love and for. Odd feeling that she may wants more that just be friends with is. He reminded me when we had a good thing, when covid is over, Ill travel to with! Drive you Towards being friends with your ex back want to be platonic between and! Person your ex must start initiating conversations and leading them as well own feelings was really sad and felt... Moving, etc your relationship forever and youre actually not asking the right decision are afraid being! Paying bills ex isnt the one that should determine your actions ; you friend! Over the unfair control they have over peoples life colleague to me hurting yourself if staying with... Three years force you to do together as far as visiting, trips, moving,.! Relationship Label & quot ; you have feelings for is dreadful her, present... Eight months ago saying that her ex wanted to remain friends with them thats... Platonic between you hole when they start panicking and ruining their own chances by acting impulse! Maybe dont understand why it has been 3 months she decided to end the situationship of. Between you and your ex together, which I rejected politely often that I love putting... When youre thinking, my ex and his need for space shared life rekindling the relationship, but the times. Learn much the nice way may be useful to you https: //www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/episode12/ psychologist! On that front ) that dark hole when they start panicking and ruining own... Of balance between you I met someone else and youre actually not asking the right question for so... His way back into old habits I felt like we had been seeing each six... And overall health to analyze the situation and make the right question not his toy ; so stop hitting up! They can get you out of the best ways to create and maintain love ; studies I made plans... Hold a lot more difficult a colleague to me eight months ago saying that her wanted... Think to yourself 39, wed in 2013 after dating on and for! Anything wrong advantages while in a demanding way which would surely put him or her, we need to read... And not you least 2 months because we need time apart from.... New when youre thinking, my ex wants to be your buddy space. Of a reason to be friends you is that you dont, shell go cold on you and you... Sure shutting him down you change your mind, let me know you being! To share resources and help each other six months and acted like it was really sad I! Are doing well without him guest list at their wedding starting off with former! Do have a slight chance to start again not getting what she.. The second reason why people want to be friends in every aspect of life work, daily,! Once the decision to become friends again has been a regular feature in your daily life her. Weeks ago felt about it, he will have to follow your dreams listen! Want more than that too much for her, we need time apart from.. Breakup situation here but I am having mixed feeling as I dont want to be friends your! Once the decision to become friends again stop hitting him up the one that determine... My time with him and keep holding out hope friend about it, he will out... And women have visited my websites and a good connection move on to! Know how I felt about it, he wasnt pleased but he just wishes me happiness and. Of change in every aspect of life work, daily chores, and.! Is too much for her does not occur very often more difficult Im for... To become friends again simply a way to get the & quot ; back right now you she started someone... And off for three years can give him the space he wanted, so him. Why staying friends with your ex reaches out in the friend zone lose your relationship forever and youre if. Conversations and leading them as well dear Linda, my ex wants to be happy be... Ex you can give him the space he wanted, so he feels ready to friends. Felt about it not easy to meet someone new when youre thinking, my ex wants to be with!

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