What works for one person doesnt always work for another, so its important to figure out what works best for your sanity! I ignored that rule in ex job and spent four years regretting it when I had a 90 minute commute each way that occasionally stretched to 2 hours (thank you and goodnight South Western railway). Work is close to the edge of its city so I dont run into much there either. Her fiance had a 10-minute one because he taught at the neighborhood school. I would look for another job, OPjust because a lot of people are willing to accept it doesnt mean its right for you. I think youll find that it is quite safe. Ive always had a long commute, until moving a couple of years ago cut my commute down to 20 minutes and going remote a few months ago cut it down to nothing. I read a study in the last few months that said 40 minutes is the tipping point where a commute starts to affect your mental health and it made a lot of sense. Thats actually why I stopped taking public transit and started biking in the first place. No. The average commute [] My longest was 2 hours one way but I worked 24 hour shifts 8 times a month so it not as awful as it could have been. I learned that I was not cut out for that kind of commute. Ugh, 4 hours a day commuting sounds awful. I probably massively bore my friends lately by pushing audiobooks and going on about my favourites. (Houston area btw). (And I have a paid off house, while my California friends are still/forever renting). My 11-mile drive commute into Boston takes about 25 minutes in the morning, usually about 35 minutes on the way home. I dont even care if its normal or not for the area, it feels awfully stressful and unhealthy. Start looking for something closer. Oh and the surrounding areas that are between my home and LA lets just say Im not out to gentrify those plots. But with the hours he was working + commute, he was basically only home to sleep and shower M-F. Yeah, I moved from a nicer and more affordable apartment to a more expensive and less nice one in order to cut at least 90 minutes out of my commute. My brother lives in northern VA suburbs and I dread the traffic on the Outer Loop around DC. We just moved to Atlanta a year ago, and when searching for a place to live, every time I found a possibility I plugged it into Google directions and set it to find the route from there to my and my partners workplaces at the times wed be driving. Thank you so much for posting my question, Alison. A bit longer than Id like, but far preferable than the hour-plus Id spend trying to get downtown. When I go home to visit, I wont even get behind the wheel any longer. Oops, I posted something else before I saw this. The trade offs were the unique work opportunities in my field and a 4 ten hour day schedule. Gods bless manual transmissions, I can usually avoid it unless its very sudden deceleration. 20-30 minutes is averagefor 7 1/2 miles! My company allows WFH as much as two days a week, which gives people flexibility and a better work/ life balance. I now live and work in the same borough of NYC. Traffic in Southern California is just a fact of life. When I was commuting 45 minutes on my bike, even in wintry conditions, I had other young and healthy friends who said I dont understand how you can bike that far, I would never but ultimately I enjoyed it. They moved the office 25 miles out of town, got a pic of my coworker who chose to stay home with the kids. I live in LB too! When I first started this job it felt like I was getting off early by hours every day. I put >30,000 miles on it in those first two years. We weighed the options and decided wed rather have an awesome place to come home to rather than a bed in a bare room. Only you'll know but it really doesn't seem that bad. (No kids, no plans for kids, just husband and dog and the enjoyment of my couch and tv. I am looking to relocate next year and Minneapolis is in my top 5 cities. Its far more difficult to live close to work in southern California, because residential neighborhoods just werent built close to business districts or manufacturing districts or wherever the jobs were because everyone had cars. Two of my friends are going to a different uni, which is russell group also, but it is 3 hours away and i wouldn't be able to live at home. Not entirely true- it depends on where in the Bay Area- and if you can afford to be 30 min away- I was in Solano County- and wages are on the low side- it would have made more financial sense for me to look in Contra Costa- but that commute was 45-90 minutes one way depending on the way the Traffic flowed (and I wouldnt have made nearly enough to move to Co-Co county). severe financial hardship) or I could work during the commute and cut down time at the office. and most of it was fine. And they said that was normal for government workers, because they werent paid enough to live near the city or park in the city. If there is a problem it gets worse (on all my possible routes). My car is okay, not that great. I get up at 4:30 am and go to the gym (40 min ride theres ALWAYS traffic but its not as bad that early). (Luckily co-workers lived in the same street to share cost.) Its incredibly stupid, a massive waste of personal time and extremely harmful to the environment. our employee is taking nude photos in our office and posting them to Facebook, company says only moms can work at home, was I rude for turning down a carpool, and more, overreaching wellness meetings, rambling coworker monopolizing trainings, and more. Just an educated guess here but maybe the non-office workers are pulling the average down? Even if the boyfriend or other people find it acceptable, they really dont have to give up trying to find another solution. And again psychologically we love our cars and the freedom to move about on our own schedule so even if they spend the money to improve the public transport system (there is a big push in that direction to add more lines to the Metrolink train system), the people who have the privilege to choose, arent inclined to choose public transportation. Totally worth it to me. 2 hours commute during rush hour in LA is completely normal. Also: the PITA factor of working in a downtown building cannot be underestimated, although it may vary by city & building. Then there are the 55, the 57, the 22, the 405 freeways as well. OP, two hours might be fine for some people and might not be unusual in your area, but if you are finding it frustrating then Id say go ahead and either move or look for work closer to home. That is sadly very normal out here (and thats my current commute). It took over two hours both ways. I think thats my cutoff. The trains are fine. A 2 hour commute is a reason to move. My commute now is 35 minutes walking, 12 minutes by bike or bus. Is it an hour today? Folks where I grew up (California) seem astonished that I live just 6 miles from downtown Boston. Id say the job I had with a 20-minute car commute and the one with the 45-minute bus ride were about at the same stress level. Why would anyone live 30 miles away from work? Today, its more like 2.5. It was never consistent.) Yes! That sound horrible. Good luck with your job search, OP, and good luck to all of those struggling with a commute that makes you scream! Total game changer to get that much time of your life back even though my rent cost was about $400/month more. Or alternatively, find another job with less of an arduous commute? After living in a different part of Country California where my commute was 75-90 min each way, then New England where it was 25 min., I was not going to go back to a long commute. 37 traffic lights, multiple school zones. 1hr 15 each way for me, but it is via train/walking. A long commute is possible, of course, as your father says, but the difference between commuting to school and commuting to work is that when you get home, you still have to study, unlike you're father. Feb 7 2021 1 hr 1 min. :(. Someone mentioned Santa Monica above you would be hard pressed to find a 1-bedroom apartment for under $2000 a month. It's quite a chunk out of your day. She thought she was lucky because she only worked 4 days a week. I didnt realize how bad it was until I started having 25 minute commutes at my next job and 10 minutes after that. Orange County comes up in a search for LA in idealist.org, so I didnt even realize it wasnt the same as LA. Were not even talking about using any freeways here that would be even longer. by train: 1 hour with no transfers/switches The drive from Philly to NYC is about 1:40 so in the end its really not much different than if you commuted in from Long Island/the outer banks of the outer boroughs. Not quite three years and I missed warm sunny days more than I ever thought would be possible. Your odds of staying safe on the road are probably not as good as youre assuming. Also, I drive past a lot of farms that dont keep their birds penned in the summer. At least youll be free to do something else during that time. I had a commute once that varied from 1-2 hours that I had to drive because I lived too far from the train, and it was so draining that I make all of my work/housing decisions based on public transit now. Ultimately I think the question for you is not whats normal for your region, but what feels doable and sustainable for you in the long-term. Exactly. Stop arguing with your boyfriend. Did you regularly see a raccoon fighting a snake over the squirrel the snake was eating while a dear just happened to walk by? Yeah, this is an interesting point. My top tip would be to work in the same location as your partner ! whats the weirdest/most inappropriate email signature youve seen? Not usually calls on the train, but email correspondence, reading, etc. I am from California and some time ago I decided to move about 30 miles away from work. You should see the housing prices in LA proper. For what its worth, Im in DC and I know quite a few people with commutes that long or longer and almost everyone I know who lives in the suburbs has a shorter commute usually but is used to it taking 2+ hours to get home. Also, I wonder, how long is your boyfriends commute? Door to door including the walk from my parking 15 minutes. It looks to be normal, but awful. An hour if I left any later. I have a 25 mile commute, which is actually a reverse commute, and it takes me about 40 minutes to 1:15 hours depending on traffic. I paid more to live in the city partially for the ability to have a short commute and to walk to work. (In a perfect world where there were adequate sidewalks, I was in good enough physical health, etc. Similarly, the most recent time I moved back to San Francisco, I had a two-hour commute from SF down to the South Bay (and 280, which used to be the relief from 101 traffic, is now horrible). I would have it written into some sort of contract, if not you will soon find once restrictions are lifted that will turn into well we could do with you coming in on a Tuesday too to oh well this meeting is always on a Wednesday and you need to be here in person for it and we arent rescheduling and before long you will be doing it every day. What gets me about your situation is that your commute is all driving if you were on a train or a subway you could at least multi-task with other activities. Plus there are ferries if youre coming from the east or north bay to the city. Keeping your car clean will probably also help a lot. Have you looked into taking the train/subway? I previously lived in Shoreline, the town immediately north of Seattle. We live in a not-overly-big Midwestern city, but unfortunately the placement of the home we own and his workplace means he has a fairly miserable drive. I am lucky that I live and work quite near highway entrances/exits, and I work 7-3 (and usually get to work by 6:30). to me. Include the Commute Cost Calculator on Your Own Website! I struggle with understanding why more people on the road means everyone drives slower. Move your residence closer to your job, or get a job closer to your residence. long in miles, loooong in traffic. My dad did this when he and my mother bought their first house. I live in the Philly burbs and commute via public transit into Center City. Seriously. I was going to suggest you try driving to your parents once a week but that's not really possible at the moment. Agreed, I live in LA and while 2 hours seems to be pushing it a bit, at least a third of my office has a 1.5 hr commute. You do have control over your car! I dont think a 2-hour commute is normal, per se, in LA, but the few friends of mine whove suffered hour-plus commutes moved closer or quit their jobs; its generally not a sustainable commute to go more than an hour, from what Ive seen. Sitting in traffic makes me miserable person to be around rest of the day. I rode the BL for a few years in the early aughts for school/work it was a little bad then but its getting worse. Hot, muggy, smoggy, YUCK. This one doesn't sound like it is. Its all vastly different depending on your desires and goals. 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