clean talk communicationclean talk communication

Buy It Now. 4 Reasons Why "Clean Talk Communication" is Important. Im not clear on to what extent this is a limit of NVC vs. being a limit of our practices of it. Note to self: Think more about what practices related to sharing interpretations I think would complement NVC, and how these might relate to the core practice. Im guessing that in the first example, youve omitted a No response between the two blocks of text, and in the second example, a No response should replace the second block of text [Sure, you can come along] though this still leaves both examples reading a bit strangely, in terms of how well the final guess seems to match, or fails to match, the logic of the conversation.). This framework is less tied to coercive associations with there being one right/objective perspective, and with searching for who to give social approval to and who to punish with disapproval. At the same time, as real as this danger is, I want to also honor that NVC aspires to support people in transforming the way they relate to life at a deep level, not just the way they speak, and that at times NVC can be movingly effective in producing this result. And, I don't know the real context of the quote. However, my hope is that NVC practitioners will express interpretations in contexts where it is useful to do so, and be willing to listen to interpretation, and treat them as invitations to carry the conversation somewhere deeper. . NVC cautions that it's essential to empowerment and personal freedom to recognize that emotions don't only reflect what happens outside us, but also reflect the stories we have made up about what we've observed, associations we have with unhealed pain from the past, and our assessments of how what is happening is likely to meet or not meet our needs. I think this can happen even with people who are quite practiced in the form of NVC. Join more than 724 000 websites trusting CleanTalk, Anti-Spam Features. how to use html tags in java string; windows 11 startup programs folder; cmake object library tutorial; what your 3rd grader needs to know pdf; allusion and alliteration (NVC, p.151) and". To a large extent, the NVC invitation to name our need is meant to address this issue. NVC leads to a realization that it is really valuable to orient oneself to assuming there is some positive reason behind a no, and being curious about that reason. (These are my own definitions, but they likely roughly correspond to what other NVC trainers would think of when they hear these terms. Calling it a "second-level want" may make this excessive conciseness less likely. You also say "Dr. Rosenberg isn't a Jungian, so perhaps he believes that it's possible to stop our inner river of judgments from flowing if we try hard enough.". As an NVC practitioner, I engage my moralistic judgments and transform them into a more holistic and humane way of thinking about situations. Youve always had this flaw, and its not getting any better. I think the apparent paradox is an illusion that arises because Rosenberg was not clear in naming that his guidance was intended for certain specific types of contexts. CleanTalk plugin sends action parameters into the CleanTalk cloud. We learn to communicate clearly and effectively. Straight Talk About Communication Research Methods. cisco sd-wan cloud onramp for saas deployment guide clean talk communication. I do think it's true that practicing NVC can lead to a sense of there being disadvantages to some of the ways that people conventionally think about "boundaries." Cleantech Communication is the preeminent consultancy for trailblazing cleantech businesses serious about. To the contrary, Rosenberg was fond of encouraging people to "enjoy the jackal show," i.e., to accept and watch the stream of judgments that flow through our consciousness. One example of this is that excess focus on thinking can be risky at times, in the relational realm, but abstract thought is essential to teaching. . I believe something can be gained by such questioning of conventional thinking. Note to self: Ive seldom seen this taught formally. I'm guessing that, implicitly, you have some criteria about what type of things that we do in our minds rise to a level of importance that not sharing them would be a concern for you. You can check any IP or Email with the Blacklists Database, it allows you to block spammers or other malicious activity. And if so, could you be more specific about what you would like to have shared, and what it would do for you if that happened? Might there be valuable ways of using the energy of anger, beyond using it as a wake-up call? Some people win, some people lose; and often, if you look closely, everyone loses. This pseudo-objectivity and deep association with extrinsic motivators render such language and judgments as instruments of social and interpersonal control in ways that make conversations involving moral disagreements unsafe and fraught with challenge. I might or might not share that I was initially angry, as a way of helping the other person understand my full experience, but I wouldnt be dumping my angry energy on them, and Id ideally be speaking from a deeper, more loving place, holding both them and myself with care. There is an intermediate step, if one hasnt gone through this sort of processing: One can remind oneself that our anger isnt the full truth of the situation, and that the blame component of what we feel is only there because we havent done the work to understand the situation more deeply. Note to self: Maybe there would be value in articulating when speaking about discernment would have value. Which want might it be helpful to express? Note to self: Would it be useful to include anything in my NVC teaching about checking out our beliefs about what we think is going on? As I understand it, it is not physically possible to voice everything that happens inside our minds. Muddy messages create distance and contention in a relationship. I converse at the level of interpretations much of the time. Needs reflect the most distinctive and profound aspect of the NVC model. I am curious about ways in which we might explicitly talk about interpretations as a part of conversations intended to transform conflicts. To be rigorous, one could ask Would you be able and willing to? or Would it work for you to? Anyway, this point seems to me to be about nuances of wording rather than assumptions that are inherently present in a request. Choose from Clean Talk stock illustrations from iStock. Based on the story I made up, I judge that your conclusion sounds like a stretch, an example of using free association to try to force data to confirm your hypothesis of a problem. To avoid this, strive to deliver whole messages when speaking with your significant other. Loving relationships are the most important factor in a mans happiness, success, and ability to live a fully flourishing life. Talking about needs which are understandable to and valued by all serves as the basis for talking about what matters to people, including what matters interpersonally (which traditionally was thought to require moralistic language to address it). You write "Dr. Rosenberg appears to consider only the most negative of these definitions as the meaning of a judgment essentially, to equate judgment with condemnation. The main risk is that, when anger is expressed, the listener is likely to infer the presence of blame and moralistic judgment, and this typically stimulates defensiveness in ways that are likely to interfere with optimal communication. It certainly wasn't about blocking the flow of judgments for him. Or, if the performer believes it when they hear You were great! it means buying into a frame where others get to determine how they feel about what theyve done, and theyll subsequently be more vulnerable to believing it when someone criticizes them, however unfairly. Thanks for reaching out! Instead, he offers to say, 'I am fearful of the use of violence to resolve conflicts; I value the resolution of human conflicts through other means. I think Rosenberg is trying to disrupt the well-worn mental grooves that eventually lead to condemnation. Clean Talk Listen to Clean Talk To listen in your web browser, simply click on one of the links below. I am an NVC trainer. So, in my judgment, using the word need when talking to someone who isnt an NVC practitioner is likely to create misunderstandings. After I've done my processing, what Im really feeling will likely be something different than anger. Its hard to move forward if you keep rehashing the past; instead, let sleeping dogs lie. I think the logic is basically that sharing interpretations is viewed as likely to stimulate arguments about whose interpretation is true, in a way that diverts attention away from matters that would be less divisive and more important to talk about namely, what needs are at issue, and what could be done to address those needs? Making negative comparisons also tells your partner that youve been thinking about someone else, and how that other person measures up to her, which can provoke hurt feelings and jealously. You talk about the NVC trainer in a workshop holding up a scarf to signify expressing anger only inwardly, not to the other. And, at the same time, I get stressed when what I expected to have happen doesnt. In contrast, couples who know how to discuss their disagreements in a healthy way are able to nip problems in the bud before they turn into big, relationship-ending issues. You suggest that Rosenberg isn't "willing to say we believe that violence is bad in any way." How would you know to whom you were talking, or when the conversation started and ended, or when the other person had finished talking and it was your turn to speak? Again, NVC is totally in favor of people exercising discernment (what you call judgment), so this concern seems rooted in a premise that doesnt match my understanding of NVC. I think his talk of never hearing thoughts was meant as a wake-up-call to people "lost in their heads" who might believe they can rely purely on reason to navigate through conflict, without opening themselves to feelings, compassion, and empathic understanding. If so, I too want those concerns to be given weight. clean talk communication. A few years ago, I facilitated a process to gather input from people around the world who cared about NVC, and people from 42 countries participated, in 4 languages (which was as much as we could logistically manage). That said, I see some advantages to the way Clean Talk seems to frame this. Cleantech Communication supports clients in realizing brand value. An or else statement shouldnt be thrown around, and it shouldnt be punitive. But, I may or may not really express my guesses about the persons reasons out loud to them. I've learned that I enjoy human beings more if I don't hear what they think." Its assumed that it makes sense to look for ways to honor everyones needs, so that (to a very real extent) there are no winners and losers everyone gets to win. Do you think you could make more of an effort to be on time?. Exploring these topics has been rich for me. 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